Book Review: Finding Mommy Bliss

I LOVE books. I LOVE to read. More importantly, I love to read books that is encouraging and beneficial to this mommy’s soul. So when I got the news to do another book review, I was SOOOOO excited and was ready to get the book. This time the book came from Genny Heikka  and I must say, I didn’t even get half way through the book and fell in love with it. And after reading all of it, I was even more in love.

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Can’t you see the excitement????

Whether you are a stay at home mom, work away from home or at home, or a step mom, we all are mommas and we all go through the same stresses of motherhood. Genny Heikka’s book, “Finding Mommy bliss”, is about finding the joy and blissful moments in the middle of all the chaos and business of motherhood. The book is designed to help you dig deep into your momma’s soul and you into a world where we can be satisfied knowing that what we are doing as a mom matters and that we can find peace knowing that there is joy to be found in the middle of a hectic day and a mess of a house. A book that helps us see the beauty of God’s design in mommas.  As Genny tells you stories from her own experiences as a momma, you will be thankful you are reading a book from someone who has really been there.  She has included several questions in the book that will help you find your inner joy and to help you really look at how you can seek and find those blissful moments.  She also has incorporated many scriptures, quotes, and the mom to mom chats to help you see the beauty and give you a lift of encouragement you need to go on and knowing that you will make it through.  This is one of those books you will be able to turn to anytime you need your spirits lifted and needing some extra encouragement. I’m pretty sure you will be thankful that it is on your night stand.

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“And that’s what we have to do sometimes, mom. Hold on tight to the moments even as they are unfolding right in front of us, instead of letting them pass unnoticed, unappreciated, and in a hurry.” Page 31

Their is so many things that I liked about this book, I just don’t know where to start and I learned so much about how I can find the bliss in the midst of the chaos. When she goes through the first tip, there is a list of questions about “where I am at” when it comes to finding the bliss. I found out that I feel a bit torn. I know I am happy about being a mommy and I get excited when my kids and I get to do things or create projects together. But I also feel the stress when things don’t go the way I had hoped or if my attitude isn’t what I was expecting it to be. My stressful moments come when attitudes arise and things are just to hectic. She gave me comfort knowing that even though I may not know what I may be feeling, but God does.  As the book goes on, she gets deeper and deeper into finding how we can find the bliss, loving the here and now and how we shouldn’t rush into our journey (even when we wish the years away, wow did that hit home).  She talks about how we need to love despite the difficulty and how we are able to just say yes. How we need to take the time for ourselves. As a momma to 3, there is so many times where I have missed all of these opportunities and how hard it is to just to love when we don’t realize it. As Genny describes her calling as a momma, I am thankful that the Lord was able to give her the opportunity to encourage others and to help other mammas like us, to just open up more opportunities for our kids.

“…And sometimes loving in the middle of the chaos is easier said than done. But the hard times do pass, the difficult phases our kids go through do eventually end, and before we know it, we turn around to reflect…and our kids are grown up.”  P37

I also enjoy the fact that Genny included TONS of quotes, scriptures, and helpful tips throughout the entire book. Where would we be without the help of another? On page 14, she included this one: “Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.” -Rosalind Russell. I find complete beauty with that line. When we get stressed over little things, we get our joy robbed from us.  Just like the shade of your lipstick can be seen on your lips, so can your joy.  And joy is often seen from the outside and on the inside. Here is another: “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” – John Wooden.  All our little things that we are doing now; the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, the hugs….will mean something big later. We may not see it now, but eventually everyone will.  All these little quotes, scriptures, and tips that she has added really helped me see things differently. I can put all these things into place in my home to make my life a bit more complete. Sometimes I have a hard time finding a prayer for my life as a mom. Do you ever get lost in your world you just don’t know what to say? Genny included many mom chats and prayers at the end of each tip (notice I didn’t say chapters?). Sometimes we need a little bit more of encouragement and nudge to get out what we need. I am so thankful she was able to add it in their.

“Be More Blissful: Look for the bliss moments today: your baby’s smile, a hug from  your toddler, lunch with your teenager, a call from your oldest away at college. Don’t let the moment pass without taking notice and whispering a prayer of thanks. The more you start thanking, the more thankful you will feel.” P67

This week, I played MANY games of UNO with my boys. I danced with my daughter in the kitchen to some of our favorite songs. We went for walks, sang songs, and cheered for each other and our friends as we watched them play baseball. This week, I learned to put “yes” into practice. I know it is OK to take time for myself. I know that when I am stressed, I can still find joy.  I hope you are able to find this book (and many others) for your shelf. I want to encourage you to check this book out. Enjoy it with friends and family.  Because when you find joy and bliss in the little moments, you will be in a place that God designed just for you. In the mean time, you can see the introduction to the book, “Finding Mommy Bliss” below:

Genny Heikka is a momma, author, and speaker. She writes and speaks to many others like you about being a mentor and a momma. She is very involved with helping other moms, like us, to achieve our dreams and be an encouragement.  To find out more about Genny:

website: gennyheikka.com

Facebook page: www.facebook.com/gennyhikka

And more about Finding Mommy Bliss: www.findingmommybliss.com

 

 

Motherhood Is Not My Job

Mother’s Day is in just a few short days. This time of year we honor the women in our lives who have meant a lot to us and show our appropriation for all that they do. Which is great because, well we do a heck of a lot. Their is all this talk about how we have the hardest job. In fact, not long ago I saw this story on Facebook about an ad for the world’s toughest job. I was curious and had to click on it. I was pretty amused with the description they gave. It’s about a company who made up a fake position with fake job description and held interviews for it. All this  in honor of Mother’s Day. Here is the video:

At first I thought, how crazy is this. Then came the thought of “awe, so sweet”. Then I was pretty baffled about the whole thing.  The video was pretty neat and it was nice of them to honor mom’s but it’s far from the truth. But here is the thing: Motherhood is NOT my job. It’s far from it. I sell kid’s books, a little child care here and there, and run this blog. Those are my part-time jobs. There are some perks to it.  I love my job of helping families encourage their children to read, help out others who need a sitter at the spur of the moment, and we all know how this blogging thing goes for me. It’s a hit and miss. I get monetary pay for it, if I fulfill my requirements.  Motherhood just isn’t my job. I fail to see it (wait for it..).

“The heavens are telling the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.” Psalm 19:1

Motherhood is far more important. God has blessed me with 3 blessings that will grow and mature and to be a service to their generation and others after them. How I raise my children is more important than any job I will have.  Psalms 127:3-5 says this “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”  I know people whose quiver is far fuller than my own, however I am blessed with 3 kids and if they are a heritage of the Lord than my role is to guide His arrows in His direction.  Now, I want you to understand that their was a time of my life where I thought differently, but  over the years I have come to the understanding that this is more than just a job. This is a ministry that He has given me to fulfill. If He has blessed me with His heritage, then there is something far greater going on than anyone will know.

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I don’t see it as a job to raise my children God has blessed me with. However, I do see it as my mission to fulfill His duty by training them. Now, you all know that we are one of those “weird”, “unsocialized” homeschool families and with that are some expectations we have to carry out.  Before the start of the school year, many of us sit down and write out our goals for the upcoming year. Things we want to learn and things we need to improve and so forth. Well,  Proverbs 22:6 always sticks to my head when I go to plan out our homeschool and schedule the year. ” Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  As a homeschool mom, I want my children to be successful academically. I want to see them to be knowledgeable in their studies and to put those task into real life and to master it as they grow. So, as we sit down to do our math, science, grammar, and so forth; I am training my children academically. Anytime we sit down together, or give them the tools to complete it on their own, I am training my children to grow in knowledge of their studies. To take it a step further, we also sit down and talk about Godly Character traits and what it means to act in the “fruit of the spirit”.  So that when my “unsocialized” children are out in public; places like church, youth group, homeschool groups, play dates, field trips, etc, I am training my children to act in public. To take it yet, another step further, we often read our Bible, do family devotions, youth group, and church I am training my children to get to know the Lord and what it means to be a Christian. When we go visit family and friends, we bring them a small gift of love, I am training them to serve. I also train my children to what means to care for your body (eating, exercising, grooming) and to help with household chores so that they will be able to care for their own home. Not only did I answer to God’s call to corrupt my children, I also answered the call to fulfill His plan of training His future children. Everything we do as a mom, homeschool or NOT, we are setting up their future and the future of others as well as setting them up to be the Leaders of God’s will. I can’t think of a job that is more important than that.  Just like we have to continue our studies academically and to continue to study God’s word so that we may fulfill His plan for us. We have to also keep working on behavior. After all, we moms aren’t perfect either, so we shouldn’t expect our kids to be. It’s a continue effort and training on all our parts.

“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.” Proverbs 31:27-29

Motherhood isn’t your job either.  Even if you are not a homeschool parent, even if you are a work outside of the house mom, what you do matters GREATLY! Even when the days seem long, you have had bed head and morning breath all day long, and you forgot that your shoes don’t match. You matter. When cereal becomes dinner, and you forgot an appointment. You matter. When you sit in the laundry room full of dirty laundry and you forgot to pick up the milk. You matter. When your child wants you to read them just one more story, and you do it even though you are tired. You matter. When your gift is a Macaroni Art, gives a peanut butter kiss on the check, and gives you a big hug with paint still on their hands. That is how you know you matter. Every little thing, is a big thing to them. Motherhood is more than just a job. All the praying you do for your kids and all the training you do; everything you do matters greatly on every level of your child’s life. And it matters to God. I pray that you embrace this role that God has blessed you with more than just a job, but as a ministry that God has called you upon.

“So when He had washed their feet, and taken His garments and reclined at he table again. He said to them, ‘Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another feet.” John 13:12-14

 

 

 

 

 

Teaching Your Boys Home Skills

A few weeks ago I attended a homeschool meeting held by our area’s homeschool group, and one of the ladies  had a binder put together called ‘The Girls Guide to Home Skills”.  I thought that was a great book to teach young ladies to home skills but knew that Sis was to little yet. However, after talking with her more she mentioned that their was a boys one as well. I seriously needed to look that up the next day and was pleasantly surprised by this neat, handy, dandy book (I am not an affiliate nor is this really a review, this came from personal research).

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“The Boy’s Guide to Home Skills”  is from The Homemakers Mentor and was over 100 pages long. Yet, I was still very impressed with what it was about. This nifty guide is about preparing your son to take care of things around the home front. Guided by the parent of course, she goes through details of cooking, fixing things around home, sewing on a button, first, aide, gardening, and more. Normally, this book is recommended for ages 8 on up, however I am all about teaching my kids at a young age and I didn’t see why my 6-year-old couldn’t join in on a few of these things along side his older brother (with some extra help of course). The book is divided into 8 sections; In the Kitchen, The Young Gentlemen, First Aid and Safety, The Young Handyman, Let’s Go to the Woodshed, Along the Garden Fence, The Country Boy, and Outgrowing the piggyback. Each one of them is detailed with explanations on how to do things, giving instructions to several projects, recipes to try, and places to take notes. Pretty neat, huh!

Well, like I said, I am all about teaching my kids at a young age to do things. I feel that it is important my sons to learn, right along side my daughter, how to do things around the home. After all, I don’t expect they will live with me for the rest of their life. They will one day have a home to take care of and once they learn to do these things and practice them under our roof, they are able to master them in their roof. I felt this book would be a great start to practice these skills and will be added to our homeschool curriculum for the summer.

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The Homemaker’s Mentor also has one for Girls that you can get as well and if you sign up on their email list, they will email you free ebooks. The last few that I received was about laundry and the other was about Pies. They was pretty neat books, however if you do not wish to download them, you don’t have to. I will warn you the  pages of this book are lengthy, but I felt it was well worth it to print it out to use. I put it all together in a binder and hopes I will be able to use it for a while. I do hope that I will be able to get the girl’s guide a little later when Sis is gets a little older.  I hope you enjoy!

 

What are some home skills you train your boys to do?

The Mom Conference

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As a mom, it is VERY important that we are able to connect with one another, grow, and learn from each other. Sometimes we need some refresher and restarts or maybe some tips that you can use for you or for your family. Conferences are great ways to be able to find some great resources and right now, the MOM Conference is going on this week!

The MOM Conference is an online event held for moms by moms and its FREE! After you register (HERE), you will get an email each day and let you know which speaker is up. You will get tips and ideas from over 30 inspiring speakers. You will also get a chance to WIN some really neat prizes and more. Did I mention that its free?

Today, Camille Beckstrand from sixsisterstuff.com is talking about family traditions, Jordan Page from funcheaporfree.com about getting out of debt, Jenny Layton from thehappygal.com about getting organized, Tricia Callahan from onceamonthmeals.com about a month’s worth of dinner (YUM!), and Nicolas Come from nicolasgarden.com about picky eaters. 

This is one conference you really don’t want to miss!  Check out the video below and click on the banner at the bottom to find out more!

 

Alphabet Flip Book

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I recently came across Crystal and Co.  blog. She is also another mommy blogger. She did this article on Teaching your Preschooler their ABC’s by making her own ALPHABET FLIP BOOK.  I really liked her idea! For some odd reason I have LOTS of flashcards and I thought I would give it a try.

0319141639I pretty much did the same thing she did except I didn’t laminate the pink ones (which I wish I would have) the others were already laminated.  I took my flashcards, punched a hole in them, and used a ring fastener to hook them together.  I recommend laminating them either with laminar or use contact paper.

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You can find flashcards at your local Dollar Store or you can go to your local Wal-Mart or teacher store (or order online).  You can also do these with the number flashcards or with some sight words. You can even use them in the car or take them with you when you have appointments or restaurants. And the best thing is, you wont lose them! :)

More Alphabet Activities:

Amazing Alphabet activities from No Time For Flashcards

Alphabet Soup from Dirt and Boogers

 

 

More on the No More Perfect Kids Book

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I’m so excited to announce that the No More Perfect Kids book is now here!
Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch have been working so hard over the past year to bring parents this powerful book!  I am part of the launch team and have already had the opportunity to read the book and can highly recommend it!
However, they say good things come to those who wait. This saying is especially true where No More Perfect Kids is concerned. The official release date was March 1, BUT if you are willing to wait to get your copy until March 13 – 23, you will be eligible to receive over $100 in free resources! I’ll provide all the info you need during release week to get the book and the bonus offers so stay tuned for the details.
You’ll also want to pop over to www.nomoreperfect.com where you can sign up to receive weekly antidotes to the perfection infection on the No More Perfect Blog, or learn how to better love your kids for who they are through our free 13-day No More Perfect Kids e-challenge.
While you’re waiting for those bonus offers, here’s an excerpt from the book:
Ten Ways to Encourage Your Child
An excerpt from No More Perfect Kids by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch
Parenting is hard work and sometimes it seems our kids do more wrong than right. Add in household responsibilities like laundry and meals, spilled milk at the breakfast table, a child who comes in from playing outside and is covered in dirt, and sibling rivalry where the kids pick at each other all night and sometimes life just isn’t easy. Fatigue is normal and frustration is, too. Learning not to act unkindly in our frustration is a journey requiring grace for ourselves and our kids.
Even in the midst of real life, it’s important to say far more encouraging words to our kids than correcting words. When we encourage kids, we give them courage. It’s empowering, freeing, and strengthening. When encouragement is the norm, children will learn they can take risks, try new things, ask for help, and make mistakes without the fear of losing the acceptance, love, and support of their parents.
It’s not easy to give encouragement, especially on the hard days. There are, however, steps we can take to increase encouragement in our home.
Here are 10 Encouragement Enhancers you can use in your family:
1. Don’t expect perfection. When we expect perfection we notice every little thing that’s wrong and that creates an environment of discouragement.
2. Encourage childlike behavior. There’s a difference between childish behavior and age-appropriate childlike behavior. Discourage the first and encourage the second.
3. Value what your kids learn. We need to pay at least as much attention to what’s being learned as we do to grades being earned and performances at games and concerts. This is one way we communicate that our kids are more than what they do and how they do.
4. Resist the urge to judge all performances. One way to emphasize learning rather than performance is not always to ask about their scores or grades.
5. Ask them how they feel. When talking about one of their athletic competitions, concerts, or tests, sometimes ask first how satisfied they were with the outcome. Two-way conversations about grades, concerts, and competitions will be more profitable than one-way judgments.
6. Notice their strengths. Point out their character, attitude, and action strengths to help them when they work to make progress in weak areas.
7. Don’t worry about their challenges. Understand some areas will remain challenges for our kids no matter how hard they try. Trying to get kids to change what they can’t improve is a sure way to discourage them.
8. Celebrate what’s real. When one child deserves to be celebrated for something significant (e.g., no C’s on a report card for the first time in a year, a soccer championship, art being displayed in the county library), don’t create fake celebrations for your other kids in order to be “fair.” Use these opportunities to teach children to genuinely celebrate their siblings.
9. Introduce them to overcomers. Discuss relatives and local people your kids know who have overcome great odds. Read biographies and autobiographies of people who have been highly successful even though they also struggled. We can often learn our greatest lessons from our greatest challenges.
10. Have fun together. Play with your kids. Relationships are deepened while building forts and having tea parties with your little ones and going shopping and watching ball games with your older ones. The fun, relaxed moments you share make tough times easier to walk through and go a long way to creating an encouraging family culture.
Be patient with yourself as you work to increase the encouraging environment in your family. If you choose too many things to change, you and your kids will be overwhelmed and little progress will be made. Don’t look back with shame or guilt either. Today is a perfect day to look forward with hope, choose one Encouragement Enhancer to start with, and walk in a positive direction!
**************************************************************************

Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch have been working so hard over the past year to bring parents this powerful book!  I am part of the launch team and have already had the opportunity to read the book and can highly recommend it!

However, they say good things come to those who wait. This saying is especially true where <i>No More Perfect Kids</i> is concerned. The official release date was March 1, BUT if you are willing to wait to get your copy until <b>March 13 – 23,</b> <strong>you will be eligible to receive over $100 in free resources!</strong> I’ll provide all the info you need during release week to get the book and the bonus offers so stay tuned for the details.

You’ll also want to pop over to <a href=”http://www.nomoreperfect.com/”>www.nomoreperfect.com</a> where you can sign up to receive weekly antidotes to the perfection infection on the No More Perfect Blog, or learn how to better love your kids for who they are through our free 13-day <i>No More Perfect Kids</i> e-challenge.

While you’re waiting for those bonus offers, here’s an excerpt from the book:

<b>Ten Ways to Encourage Your Child</b>
An excerpt from <i>No More Perfect Kids</i> by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch

Parenting is hard work and sometimes it seems our kids do more wrong than right. Add in household responsibilities like laundry and meals, spilled milk at the breakfast table, a child who comes in from playing outside and is covered in dirt, and sibling rivalry where the kids pick at each other all night and sometimes life just isn’t easy. Fatigue is normal and frustration is, too. Learning not to act unkindly in our frustration is a journey requiring grace for ourselves and our kids.

Even in the midst of real life, it’s important to say far more encouraging words to our kids than correcting words. When we en<i>courage </i>kids, we give them courage. It’s empowering, freeing, and strengthening. When encouragement is the norm, children will learn they can take risks, try new things, ask for help, and make mistakes without the fear of losing the acceptance, love, and support of their parents.

It’s not easy to give encouragement, especially on the hard days. There are, however, steps we can take to increase encouragement in our home.

Here are <b>10 Encouragement Enhancers</b> you can use in your family:

<img alt=”Encourage-Courage” src=”http://www.jillsavage.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Encourage-Courage-240×300.jpg” width=”240″ height=”300″ />1. Don’t expect perfection. When we expect perfection we notice every little thing that’s wrong and that creates an environment of discouragement.

<b>2. </b><b><i>Encourage childlike behavior. </i></b>There’s a difference between childish behavior and age-appropriate childlike behavior. Discourage the first and encourage the second.

<b>3. </b><b><i>Value what your kids learn. </i></b>We need to pay at least as much attention to what’s being learned as we do to grades being earned and performances at games and concerts. This is one way we communicate that our kids are more than what they do and how they do.

<b>4. </b><b><i>Resist the urge to judge all performances. </i></b>One way to emphasize learning rather than performance is not always to ask about their scores or grades.

<b>5. <i>Ask them how they feel.</i></b><i> </i>When talking about one of their athletic competitions, concerts, or tests, sometimes ask first how satisfied they were with the outcome. Two-way conversations about grades, concerts, and competitions will be more profitable than one-way judgments.

<b>6. <i>Notice their strengths.</i></b><i> </i>Point out their character, attitude, and action strengths to help them when they work to make progress in weak areas.

<b>7. <i>Don’t worry about their challenges.</i></b><i> </i>Understand some areas will remain challenges for our kids no matter how hard they try. Trying to get kids to change what they can’t improve is a sure way to discourage them.

<b>8. <i>Celebrate what’s real.</i></b><i> </i>When one child deserves to be celebrated for something significant (e.g., no C’s on a report card for the first time in a year, a soccer championship, art being displayed in the county library), don’t create fake celebrations for your other kids in order to be “fair.” Use these opportunities to teach children to genuinely celebrate their siblings.

<b>9. <i>Introduce them to overcomers.</i></b><i> </i>Discuss relatives and local people your kids know who have overcome great odds. Read biographies and autobiographies of people who have been highly successful even though they also struggled. We can often learn our greatest lessons from our greatest challenges.

<b>10. </b><b><i>Have fun together. </i></b>Play with your kids. Relationships are deepened while building forts and having tea parties with your little ones and going shopping and watching ball games with your older ones. The fun, relaxed moments you share make tough times easier to walk through and go a long way to creating an encouraging family culture.

Be patient with yourself as you work to increase the encouraging environment in your family. If you choose too many things to change, you and your kids will be overwhelmed and little progress will be made. Don’t look back with shame or guilt either. Today is a perfect day to look forward with hope, choose one Encouragement Enhancer to start with, and walk in a positive direction!

“Why Do Kids Make Mistakes?”

Why Do Kids Make Mistakes?
An excerpt from No More Perfect Kids by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch

Does it ever feel like your child does more wrong than they do right? As a parent, we know our kids aren’t failures. They can fail a quiz here and there, not win a tournament, and not earn a raise during their first job review, but none of that makes them failures.

They will make mistakes, though, because they’re human! To best help our kids overcome their mistakes and not feel like failures, we need to understand why they make mistakes. When a parent understands, it increases their compassion and decreases their frustration. As you listen closely and observe intently for the “why” behind their mistakes, you can know how to best support them. Let’s explore eight reasons kids make mistakes.

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1. They need more experience.
When kids complain that school is hard, remind them that if it were easy, they wouldn’t need to go. School—and much of life—is about trying new things. We must let our kids know they’re not stupid when they get things wrong. Mistakes are a part of life, and they often show up when we need more experience.

2. They need to be taught in order to be successful.
Mistakes can occur when content and tasks are new and teaching hasn’t yet occurred. Kids might enjoy trying things on their own, but then can get very frustrated when their independent approach doesn’t go well. Protect their self-esteem when you notice that the reason they did something wrong was simply because they need help or more instruction.

3. They need more time to learn something.
Errors occur because kids didn’t learn something well enough, although teaching has begun. These mistakes are a part of learning. They happen, and it’s no one’s fault. How did you learn to drive? By driving imperfectly for a while. How did you decide which barbeque sauce you prefer? By cooking with one and then another. Did you make a mistake? No. It was a “learn by doing” experience, not a “mistake by doing” experience. The language we use to discuss mistakes matters; this includes what we say to our kids and what we say inside our heads when thinking about them.

4. They need healthy motivation to do things well.
Sometimes kids make mistakes because they don’t want the additional pressure that comes with excellence. Maybe your son’s teacher keeps calling on him because he’s always attentive and right, but your son wants to take a break from that. Maybe your oldest is feeling like all your happiness is on her shoulders. That’s unhealthy motivation and creates a lot of pressure for any child.

5. They need our understanding and attention.
Kids will occasionally fail at something or make mistakes just to push our buttons. Let’s face it: They are smart little people even at a young age, and they learn the power of manipulation early.
In these cases, responding with understanding is important. When the time is right, and depending on their age, let them know you understand they’re angry or frustrated but you’d rather have them talk with you about their feelings than to act their feelings out.

6. They need more modeling and instruction related to character and obedience.
Sometimes mistakes are an issue of character. Kids might hurry through a task or assignment so they can get back to their video games. They can choose to not double-check their work because pride is in their way and they’re just convinced they haven’t made any mistakes. As parents, we need to discern whether our children are making occasional errors in judgment or if they’ve developed consistent character flaws that need to be addressed.

7. They need self-respect, self-control, and respect for others modeled for them and taught to them.
Sometimes kids’ strengths get them into trouble. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing! For example, word-smart kids might talk too much. Logic-smart kids with a heightened curiosity may ask questions to keep you distracted and to extend bedtime. We don’t want to paralyze their strengths by overreacting and being too critical, but we do need to teach the concepts of self-control and respecting others.

8. They need sleep, food, and/or emotional stability.
Do you sometimes underperform or make unhealthy decisions when you’re tired, hungry, or emotionally vulnerable? So do kids. You might discover your daughter should start her homework after having a snack. Your son may not be handling the long day of school well and may need to go to bed thirty minutes earlier than you originally thought. To track patterns, you can keep a written record of their misbehavior using a calendar or a list. After recording a few days of when mistakes and misbehavior occur, who was present, if it was near mealtime, or if they were fatigued, you can often identify possible strategies to decrease the misbehavior.

It’s okay, in the midst of mistakes, to verbalize that your child is not failing or a failure. Look for impressionable moments when kids need the reassurance that making mistakes is how people learn. You may not be happy with their choices, and discipline may be necessary, but also let them know they’re not stupid. In fact, letting our kids know they’re not mistakes even when they make mistakes is very important for us to communicate, especially in the hard days of parenting!

This excerpt is from No More Perfect Kids, a new Hearts at Home HYPERLINK “http://www.heartsathome.org/” book by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch!  Pick up your copy of the book between March 13-23 and you’ll get over $100 in bonus resources!  Find out more at NoMorePerfect.com!

Why Do Kids Make Mistakes?
An excerpt from <i>No More Perfect Kids</i> by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch

<img alt=”Mistake” src=”http://www.jillsavage.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Mistake-240×300.jpg” width=”240″ height=”300″ />Does it ever feel like your child does more wrong than they do right? As a parent, we know our kids aren’t failures. They can fail a quiz here and there, not win a tournament, and not earn a raise during their first job review, but none of that makes them failures.

They will make mistakes, though, because they’re human! To best help our kids overcome their mistakes and not feel like failures, we need to understand why they make mistakes. When a parent understands, it increases their compassion and decreases their frustration. As you listen closely and observe intently for the “why” behind their mistakes, you can know how to best support them.

Let’s explore eight reasons kids make mistakes.

<b>1. They need more experience.
</b>When kids complain that school is hard, remind them that if it were easy, they wouldn’t need to go. School—and much of life—is about trying new things. We must let our kids know they’re not stupid when they get things wrong. Mistakes are a part of life, and they often show up when we need more experience.

<b>2. They need to be taught in order to be successful.
</b>Mistakes can occur when content and tasks are new and teaching hasn’t yet occurred. Kids might enjoy trying things on their own, but then can get very frustrated when their independent approach doesn’t go well. Protect their self-esteem when you notice that the reason they did something wrong was simply because they need help or more instruction.

<b>3. They need more time to learn something.
Errors occur because kids didn’t learn something well enough, although teaching has begun. These mistakes are a part of learning. They happen, and it’s no one’s fault. How did you learn to drive? By driving imperfectly for a while. How did you decide which barbeque sauce you prefer? By cooking with one and then another. Did you make a mistake? No. It was a “learn by doing” experience, not a “mistake by doing” experience. The language we use to discuss mistakes matters; this includes what we say to our kids and what we say inside our heads when thinking about them.

<b></b><b>4. They need healthy motivation to do things well.
</b>Sometimes kids make mistakes because they don’t want the additional pressure that comes with excellence. Maybe your son’s teacher keeps calling on him because he’s always attentive and right, but your son wants to take a break from that. Maybe your oldest is feeling like all your happiness is on her shoulders. That’s unhealthy motivation and creates a lot of pressure for any child.

<b>5. They need our understanding and attention.
</b>Kids will occasionally fail at something or make mistakes just to push our buttons. Let’s face it: They are smart little people even at a young age, and they learn the power of manipulation early.

In these cases, responding with understanding is important. When the time is right, and depending on their age, let them know you understand they’re angry or frustrated but you’d rather have them talk with you about their feelings than to act their feelings out.

<b>6. They need more modeling and instruction related to character and obedience.
</b>Sometimes mistakes are an issue of character. Kids might hurry through a task or assignment so they can get back to their video games. They can choose to not double-check their work because pride is in their way and they’re just convinced they haven’t made any mistakes. As parents, we need to discern whether our children are making occasional errors in judgment or if they’ve developed consistent character flaws that need to be addressed.

<b>7. They need self-respect, self-control, and respect for others modeled for them and taught to them.
</b>Sometimes kids’ strengths get them into trouble. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing! For example, word-smart kids might talk too much. Logic-smart kids with a heightened curiosity may ask questions to keep you distracted and to extend bedtime. We don’t want to paralyze their strengths by overreacting and being too critical, but we do need to teach the concepts of self-control and respecting others.

<b>8. They need sleep, food, and/or emotional stability.
</b>Do you sometimes underperform or make unhealthy decisions when you’re tired, hungry, or emotionally vulnerable? So do kids. You might discover your daughter should start her homework after having a snack. Your son may not be handling the long day of school well and may need to go to bed thirty minutes earlier than you originally thought.  To track patterns, you can keep a written record of their misbehavior using a calendar or a list. After recording a few days of when mistakes and misbehavior occur, who was present, if it was near mealtime, or if they were fatigued, you can often identify possible strategies to decrease the misbehavior.

<img alt=”NMPK Cover with Chapman name” src=”http://www.jillsavage.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/NMPK-Cover-with-Chapman-name-220×300.jpg” width=”220″ height=”300″ />It’s okay, in the midst of mistakes, to verbalize that your child is not failing or a failure. Look for impressionable moments when kids need the reassurance that making mistakes is how people learn. You may not be happy with their choices, and discipline may be necessary, but also let them know they’re not stupid.

In fact, letting our kids know they’re not mistakes even when they make mistakes is very important for us to communicate, especially in the hard days of parenting!

<em>This excerpt is from </em><a href=”http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Perfect-Kids-Love/dp/0802411525/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1393728458&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=no+more+perfect+kids”>No More Perfect Kids</a><em>, a new <a href=”http://www.heartsathome.org/”>Hearts at Home </a>book by <a href=”http://www.jillsavage.org/”>Jill Savage</a> and <a href=”http://drkathykoch.com/”>Dr. Kathy Koch</a>!  Pick up your copy of the book between March 13-23 and you’ll get over $100 in bonus resources!  Find out more at <a href=”http://www.heartsathome.org/index.php/nmpm-home”>NoMorePerfect.com</a&gt;! </em>

March Goals

IMG_20140129_145627[1]

I really suck at keeping up with goals. So I finally bought a notebook (don’t you love how flowery and girly it is?)  that is just for me and started writing out goals that I want to keep up with. I have divided each goal in different categories and was very specific for what I want.  Check it out: 

IMG_20140304_111459[1]Personal: 

  • I want to lower my soda intake so I can eventually stop drinking it all together. It’s not healthy.
  • Yoga at least 3 days a week with the kids. I want to show my family how important it is to take care of your body and the importance of exercising while showing a good example.
  • Read books: Made to Crave and Made To Crave Action by Lysa TerKeurst and Living with less so your family has more by Jill Savage.
  • Take me day. Because being selfish to myself is not ok.
  • Wake up earlier. Use this time to do some work or social media.

Relationships:

  • Date night with my hubby because that is important.
  • Date night with my kids because that is important to foster a relationship with each of my kids.
  • Work on friendships and show how important they are to me
  • Potty training sis…TIPS PLEASE?!

Homeschool:

  • Work on memory boxes
  • work on listening skills
  • Plan a field trip
  • plan out months for April through May.
  • Organize papers and school books

Home:

  • Spring clean each room
  • Organize Kitchen and Dinning/School area
  • Donate unused clothing
  • Spruce up the Laundry Room

Work:

  • Book one Usborne Book home show or catalog show. Any takers?
  • Blog at least 3 times a week. Hopefully to increase by April.
  • Since I got a volunteer job at the church, I need to prepare my children sermons and youth lessons in advance. I may need a notebook for that too.

What are some of your goals for this month and how do you keep track? Comment below and let us know!

 

No More Perfect Kids

Hey all! Hope everyone is doing well! I recently had an exciting opportunity to be part of  a launch group for a new book called “No More Perfect Kid’s.” If you have read Jill Savage‘s book “No More Perfect Mom’s” than you will LOVE this one, I know I did! Jill and Kathy Koch teamed up to help us embrace and celebrate our children and who they are and provided perfect examples on how we can practice this through the book “No More Perfect Kids”.

NMPK Cover with Chapman name

 Often Parent’s (including my husband and myself) get caught up on our own perfectionism that we try to instill this in our children. We say things like “You can do better than that”, ” Don’t do that”, “that’s not right” and we don’t see how this can make our kids feel.  I know I am guilty of it. There are so many times where I have compared my own kids to someone else’s, thinking “She is walking, why isn’t Sis doing it?” “Wow, she is already going potty, why isn’t Sis doing it?” “So and so’s child is reading, why can’t he?”. “I know that he has read that before, why is he struggling now?”  I have also expected to much from my child, expecting him to do a task or job that he isn’t ready yet to perform or expecting him to do something that he isn’t going to be skilled in. I have fallen caught the Perfection Infection a few times to many in my parenting job. It’s not something I am proud of. It can be school work, chores, or in their behavior. Sometimes we expect way to much from our children because we want them to be perfect.

“As parents, we hold an incredible power over how our children feel about themselves and their relationship with us.”  No More Perfect Kids

During my homeschool journey, I have learned that each of my kids are different and unique from one another. They are not the same in any way, shape, or form (except maybe gender). I shouldn’t expect my kids to do the same thing in everything they do. They each have unique abilities, performances and skills from each other. I found that out my second year of homeschooling. I had to learn how they are able to process and learn before I can just hand them a book to read or write. I also learned that this is why they behave the way they do.

100_4502

But it’s not enough to learn more about my kids, I need to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate it. I can’t expect my kids to be perfect and behave all the time, because well, they are kids. The same way we mess up (yelling at our kids, forgetting something at the store, talking about someone behind their back), our kids will do the same. I can’t expect a perfect paper to be done because he is still learning. Writing may not be his thing, but reading is. Big man is a little more serious, he enjoys the techno life and baseball. He has to know what is happening and what will happen, he has a hard time just following the flow of things. Little Man loves to be funny and humorous. He can go with the flow of things but also gets his feelings hurt easily. Sitting still is something he has a little trouble in.  Because both my boys are different and unique, I have to embrace and celebrate both their  personalities differently. Same with the Sissy, she has a girly girl side and a tom boy side. She doesn’t mind getting dirty as long as she can wash up right afterwards. She loves to read and write and color. I know for sure I can’t compare her to the boys nor can I compare any of my kids to their cousins or neighborhood children. Your kids are the same way. God has designed all of His children to be unique in their own special way.

That is why I love this book, “No More Perfect Kids”. It has helped me to remember that my kids aren’t perfect nor are anyone else’s and I shouldn’t except them to be. It has taught me that I need to let go the perfection infection and embrace them for who they are. They have given me so many ideas to help embrace my children and celebrate who they are. and the best part of all, IT’S NOT JUST FOR MOMMAS!!! :D Dad’s can greatly benefit this book as well!

“When parents untangle themselves from their expectations, they free their children to be their best. You can identify the unique design of each of our children, resisting the urge to compare them to ourselves, their siblings, or other children, we set them free to be all they are created to be. Allowing our children the freedom to be their true selves is on e the best gifts we can give them. All children deserve to be celebrated for who they are.”  (No More Perfect Kids)

For the next couple weeks you will see more and more post about the upcoming book, “No More Perfect Kids” and where you will be able to get it and so forth. I am very excited that I was able to be part of this launch and provide you readers bits and pieces of this book. You will also see lots of info my Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest Pages as well. For more info on the book visit: http://www.heartsathome.org/index.php/nmpm-home

Science Project Warning

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Do you ever have to put a label on your science projects? I am interested to know…

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